willsicott:

tuxedoandex:

ugly:

What do you call the security guards outside Samsung shops?

what

Guardians of the Galaxy

  • mother:you need to stop playing the sims.
  • me:ah fweegah fwaa boobasnot cayoo dis wompf es fredesche

fvming:

What did the kidney say to the other kidney?

I’m stoned

(Source: fvming)